Does your mum need help with her wedding speech? Read these tips from Speechy

The Speech Surgery with Heidi Ellert McDermott, founder of Speechy & author of The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches

black and white photo of a bride and her mum Credit: Marius Muresan on Unsplash

I'd love my mum to give a speech on the wedding day but she's nervous. Any advice?

Firstly, reassure your mum that we work with lots of mothers (both of the bride, and increasingly, the groom's) so it's no longer unusual to see a mum on the mic. Whether your mum is standing in for your father, speaking in addition to him or your dad isn't part of the picture, we generally find mothers have a lot to say!

In terms of getting your mum excited at the prospect of delivering a speech, rather than dreading it, send her a few blog posts to show her how simple writing her speech can be. There's lots of helpful templates and speech examples online that will give her inspiration and increase her confidence. Writing a mother of the bride speech is similar to a father's. Brainstorm ideas (and get other family members involved), pick out the best stories and then pull it all together.

A good wedding speech is always under 1,300 words but there's really no minimum, so make sure your mum doesn't feel undue pressure to fill up her ten minutes on the mic. Sometimes just one or two anecdotes will be all a mum really needs to sum up a lifetime of love. Generally, a mother of the bride speech should...

  • Get the audience smiling (ideally laughing along)
  • Provide an insight into the bride's younger years
  • Pay a heartfelt tribute to the woman she is today
  • Welcome her partner to the family and express your joy in the union
  • Raise a toast to their future life together
My top tip for feeling more confident on the day is to make sure you have some early humour scripted into the speech. It doesn't have to be a one-liner worthy of Peter Kay, just something a bit fun and jovial. Once you get everyone laughing, you'll immediately feel more relaxed.

Remind your mum that she doesn't need to be formal or stuffy. Maybe suggest she exploits your siblings or her trusted friends to help her work on those crucial ice-breakers. Of course, she can find plenty of ideas online but ideally, you don't want any cut and paste gags. Is there any fun to be had in the wedding venue, or how long it took you to plan your wedding? Maybe she can utilise some self-deprecating humour and add a funny line about having the public speaking skills of a wheelie bin!

Once your mum's convinced she's written a good speech, she'll naturally feel more confident about delivering it. Ultimately, make sure she knows that no matter what she says, you'll be very proud of her.

For more inspiration www.speechy.com/speechy-advice/mother-of-the-bride-speech

Missed our first Speechy series of columns, find more here.

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